The world is under the power of evil supernatural beings.1
These supernatural beings once caused the death of a Godman. 2
This Godman had the last laugh because he came back to life.3
He, this guy, has actually seen the risen Godman! In his head.4
He’s visited part of Heaven, though maybe this was all in his head too.5
Those who align themselves with the risen Godman will also be resurrected (he’s not clear how this works. It just does).6
The Godman will be coming down from Heaven soon (‘soon’ as in the first century).7
Everyone who believes in the Godman will then levitate into the sky to meet him (yes, really!)8
People who die before this happens won’t miss out. Like everyone else, they’ll get a brand new body – a spiritual one!9
This guy has no idea what this spiritual body will be like (so don’t ask)10
The Godman will set up a magic Kingdom on Earth and those who’ve aligned themselves with him will live in it forever.11
People this guy doesn’t like won’t.12
If you were to encounter someone who said these things today, you’d quite rightly decide they weren’t right in the head and you’d give them a wide berth. Of course there’d be those who wouldn’t; gullible individuals who are unable to tell the difference between fantasy and profundity (like those duped by cult founders such as Joseph Smith, Charles Taze Russell, Jim Jones, David Koresh, L. Ron Hubbard and hundreds of others.) This is precisely what happened when this particular collection of absurdist claims first circulated, for these form the core of Christian belief, as devised by arch-fantasist Paul. Whether they’re aware of it or not, today’s Christians subscribe to this nonsense.
This is what Paul teaches.
This is what the Bible says.
This is what faith entails.
1 1 Corinthians 2. 6-10
2 1 Corinthians 2.8
3 Colossians 2.15
4 Galatians 1.11-12
5 2 Corinthians 12.1-4
6 1 Corinthians 20-23
7 1 Thessalonians 4.15-16
8 1 Thessalonians 4.17
9 1 Corinthians 15. 42-44
10 1 Corinthians 15.35-37
11 Colossians 1.13
12 1 Corinthians 6.9-10