Predictions for 2015

BrideMy predictions prophecies for the year ahead:

1. There’ll be no Second Coming in 2015.
Jesus won’t be back this year. Just like he wasn’t back in 2014, 2013, 2012… 1985… 1914… 1868… 1497… 1000… 446… 35. Just think of all those years – count ’em, nearly two thousand – when he’s failed to return so far. Actually, he promised he’d be back while his disciples and those daft enough to listen to him were still alive – around AD30 or thereabouts (Matthew 16:27-28; Matthew 24:27, 30-31, 34; Luke 21:27-28, 33-34). Safe to say he’s not coming back at all now, just like dead people don’t. Not in 2015, not ever.

2. Christians will go on insisting Jesus is going to return any time soon.

3. There’ll be no natural disasters or human calamities as a result of same-sex marriage.

4. Christians will claim natural disasters and human calamities are the result of same-sex marriage. Shaking our fists at God… the wrath of the Almighty… sign of the End Times… blah, blah, blah.

5. More than one prominent Christian will call for the execution of gay people.

6. Christians in the west will claim they’re being persecuted when they’re being expected to treat others fairly and equally, and not to discriminate against them.

7. Christians will respond to criticism with clichés like ‘they wouldn’t dare say that about Muslims’… ‘Christians are the last group who are fair game’… ‘It’s time for Christians to speak out’… ‘Stand up for God’s standards…’ etc.

8. Christians will continue to dismiss and disparage anyone who doesn’t share their views, especially atheists. Look out for ‘atheists have no morality’, ‘the fool hath said in his heart there’s no God’ and ‘atheists want to oppress Christians’ occurring with tedious regularity.

9. There will be more revelations about the abuse of children by church ministers.

10. Church hierarchies will attempt to cover up the abuse of children by their ministers.

11. There will be the usual manufactured ‘war on Christmas’.

12. These predictions have far more chance of coming to pass than any of the so-called prophecies of Bible. I’ll return to them at the end of the year so we can see.

A happy new year to you all!

 

Original picture: Ursula Klawitter / zefa / Corbis

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3 thoughts on “Predictions for 2015

  1. I was talking with a lady not too long ago about the return of the Lord and she said the reason he hasn’t returned yet is because he is only returning for a pure and spotless bride.I said if that’s the case then he’ll never return,but maybe Jesus has already returned and lives in the heart of the believer.And the reason believers are so confused about all this is because Jesus was too.
    She gave me a startled,perplexed and then grim look and the conversation was over.
    I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself afterwards.
    But it’s all such a sad delusion;the idea that the Lord won’t return because were not pure/good enough.I heard all that preached along with the reason he hasn’t returned/rapture,is because we don’t pray enough that he will-“even so come Lord Jesus”.
    While the Christian is supposed to be so happy and free,redeemed by the blood,and justified by faith,yet mountains of guilt are also laid upon them.That’s how it was for me;every time you sin or think you do it’s a Judas kiss and recrucifying of Jesus.It’s terrible what these kinds of beliefs can do to people psychologically and what it did to me.

    Like

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